Jessie on the Cute Beat

Stuffed Animals at the Delaware Natural History Museum

JotCB is back, this time Jess caught some cuteness in its natural habitat.

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Jess Whitehead

Jessie on the Cute Beat

Animals with their Own Instagram Feeds

Jessie on the Cute Beat is back! This time, she fills us in on some animals with their own Instagram accounts.

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Jess Whitehead

Hammer Time

Shit Happens

In this second installment of Hammer Time, Jess breaks down West Ham’s first two games. Random acts of hooliganism may or may not be included.

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Jess Whitehead

Hard Entertainment

Country Music Rocks and You Suck

Country music might as well be performed by five-headed, three-anused beasts, but our own Bill Santiago manages to infiltrate and be assimilated.

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Bill Santiago

Infallible Gambling

Let's All Go to the Horse Track

If you’re looking for a fun way to win money and not go insane, don’t bet on football, bet on wild animals running in circles!

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Brett Whitehead

Overwrought Reviews

Source Code

Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Source Code delivers enough nonsense per minute to make even Scientologists blush.

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Raymond O'Connor

Hard Science

Five Hour Energy Will Not Kill You

5-hour ENERGY has an undeserved reputation, given that it’s just caffeine and vitamins packaged in bile.

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Brett Whitehead
No Drake at Famous Tim's

Overwrought Reviews

Famous Turds Barcrawl

Delaware is home to many things, the fantastic Blue Rocks minor league baseball team, Scrumptious frozen yogurt, and Joe Biden, just to name a few, but probably the best thing about the ol’ DE is the collection of Famous Taverns. The Famous Taverns are a bare-bones way to get hammered: Every drink is $3 and you can gamble. Why leave? One pleasant Fall night the Brutal Horse staff decided to visit every Famous Tavern and document their experience.

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Brutal Horse Staff

Triple Crown Part 2: Frontrunners

In part two of his Triple Crown series, Brett recounts Brutalhorsefest II, our annual party and celebration of Delaware Park and our fine website. Lessons were learned, life-changing decisions made, and Blimes were drank by all . . . four of us.

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Brett Whitehead

Infallible Gambling

The Triple Crown Part 1: Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men

Brett’s back in the saddle with his retelling of the 2013 Kentucky Derby. Will it be steak or salad this year? Red Lobster Friendlies? $10 cigars or $5 cigars? You get the idea.

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Brett Whitehead

The Squared Circle

A Rumination on Wrestling (or My Review of the Royal Rumble)

Though the Royal Rumble has come and gone, relive the madness through Neal Gee’s review. He slaps and pounds you with his inappropriate, metaphor-driven prose. He teases and delights with prolonged fore-story. And, after he’s long outworn his welcome, climax!

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Neal Gee

Brutal Horse's Urban Dictionary

Hey mac! Ever wonder what “mac” means? Of course you have! Read on for our definitions of big cats, bears of all different shades, blime bombs, and Neal’s attempts to subvert our chosen lexicon. Our Brutal Horse Urban dictionary is a running glossary of our favorite terms, sure to be updated as it grows.

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Neal Gee

Infallible Gambling

Mascot Wars II: Party Funding

In this second installment of Mascot Wars, Brett picks this week’s playoff games based on strength of mascot of each team. The most thrilling matchup involves a baby horse and a dull bird! Who will win and will Brett earn enough ill-gotten dollar bills to fund his “Big Game” party?

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Brett Whitehead

Hard Entertainment

Brutal Horse Tank

Shark Tank, a fabulous hour of television, has inspired Neal Gee to create our own, more personal version. Who will chum the waters of these scurvy, swashbuckling sea dogs and emerge king killer whale of Davey Jones’ locker? Arr?

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Neal Gee

Wasted Physics

Binge Drinking Dynamics

Binge drinking is all over the TV these days. According to 20/20 and other such sensationalist shows, college kids are participating in this dangerous activity at an alarmingly high rate. We here at Brutal Horse are not here to judge, but we decided to try to determine what’s going on in our bodies during a brown-out session.

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Raymond O'Connor

Procedural Business

Brutal Horse: One Year In

It’s been one year since we launched brutalhorse.com. Since then, we’ve been most sought on Google by bestiality connoisseurs, but we’ve also attracted a few, non-creepy readers. So for you, our non-creepy readers, we’d like to humbly submit a comprehensive update to our favorite articles over the past year.

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Brett Whitehead

Hard Entertainment

McDungeons and Dragons Club, Mac!

Dungeons and Dragons, first published in 1974, is a table-top role-playing game loved by nerds and reviled by everyone else. When Neal first suggested getting a D&D game together, most of us balked, but he persisted. What has come of Neal’s semi-serious suggestion has been a monthly dinner party and D&D night, filled with inside jokes and delicious food.

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Neal Gee

State of the Phils

State of the Phils: Sixty Games In

With more than a third of the season in the bag, how do our fine Phillies fare? Don’t bother watching three hour long baseball games everyday, ask Brett and Justin.

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Brett Whitehead

Energy Kitchen

Building a Better Veggie Burger

Store-bought and homemade veggie burgers are usually pretty disappointing on the grill. Ray takes inspiration from greasy, fatty, drippy hamburgers to develop a new veggie burger recipe, fit for the summer.

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Raymond O'Connor

Overwrought Reviews

The Hobbit, Reviewed

All epic adventures must start somewhere: Spider-Man was bitten by a mutant spider and spurred to fight crime by his uncle’s untimely death, Superman came from another planet and was empowered by our Sun’s specific radiation frequencies, and Bilbo Baggins sat around and complained about dwarves getting mud on his carpet. Read on for Brett’s review of Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit, complete with handy viewer’s guide.

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Brett Whitehead

The Squared Circle

Kevin Steen: Descent Into Madness

In this review of Ring of Honor DVD, Kevin Steen: Descent into Madness, Brett breaks down the long feud between a fat guy and a guy who pretends not to understand Engilsh. How many chairs to the head will it take El Generico to learn how to say “concussion?”

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Brett Whitehead