Jessie on the Cute Beat
Stuffed Animals at the Delaware Natural History Museum
JotCB is back, this time Jess caught some cuteness in its natural habitat.Full story.
Jessie on the Cute Beat
Animals with their Own Instagram Feeds
Jessie on the Cute Beat is back! This time, she fills us in on some animals with their own Instagram accounts.Full story.
In this second installment of Hammer Time, Jess breaks down West Ham’s first two games. Random acts of hooliganism may or may not be included.Full story.
Country Music Rocks and You Suck
Country music might as well be performed by five-headed, three-anused beasts, but our own Bill Santiago manages to infiltrate and be assimilated.Full story.
Let's All Go to the Horse Track
If you’re looking for a fun way to win money and not go insane, don’t bet on football, bet on wild animals running in circles!Full story.
Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Source Code delivers enough nonsense per minute to make even Scientologists blush.Full story.
Five Hour Energy Will Not Kill You
5-hour ENERGY has an undeserved reputation, given that it’s just caffeine and vitamins packaged in bile.Full story.
Famous Turds Barcrawl
Delaware is home to many things, the fantastic Blue Rocks minor league baseball team, Scrumptious frozen yogurt, and Joe Biden, just to name a few, but probably the best thing about the ol’ DE is the collection of Famous Taverns. The Famous Taverns are a bare-bones way to get hammered: Every drink is $3 and you can gamble. Why leave? One pleasant Fall night the Brutal Horse staff decided to visit every Famous Tavern and document their experience.Full story.
Brutal Horse Staff
Triple Crown Part 2: Frontrunners
In part two of his Triple Crown series, Brett recounts Brutalhorsefest II, our annual party and celebration of Delaware Park and our fine website. Lessons were learned, life-changing decisions made, and Blimes were drank by all . . . four of us.Full story.
The Triple Crown Part 1: Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men
Brett’s back in the saddle with his retelling of the 2013 Kentucky Derby. Will it be steak or salad this year? Red Lobster Friendlies? $10 cigars or $5 cigars? You get the idea.Full story.
The Squared Circle
A Rumination on Wrestling (or My Review of the Royal Rumble)
Though the Royal Rumble has come and gone, relive the madness through Neal Gee’s review. He slaps and pounds you with his inappropriate, metaphor-driven prose. He teases and delights with prolonged fore-story. And, after he’s long outworn his welcome, climax!Full story.
Brutal Horse's Urban Dictionary
Hey mac! Ever wonder what “mac” means? Of course you have! Read on for our definitions of big cats, bears of all different shades, blime bombs, and Neal’s attempts to subvert our chosen lexicon. Our Brutal Horse Urban dictionary is a running glossary of our favorite terms, sure to be updated as it grows.Full story.
Mascot Wars II: Party Funding
In this second installment of Mascot Wars, Brett picks this week’s playoff games based on strength of mascot of each team. The most thrilling matchup involves a baby horse and a dull bird! Who will win and will Brett earn enough ill-gotten dollar bills to fund his “Big Game” party?Full story.
Brutal Horse Tank
Shark Tank, a fabulous hour of television, has inspired Neal Gee to create our own, more personal version. Who will chum the waters of these scurvy, swashbuckling sea dogs and emerge king killer whale of Davey Jones’ locker? Arr?Full story.
Binge Drinking Dynamics
Binge drinking is all over the TV these days. According to 20/20 and other such sensationalist shows, college kids are participating in this dangerous activity at an alarmingly high rate. We here at Brutal Horse are not here to judge, but we decided to try to determine what’s going on in our bodies during a brown-out session.Full story.
Brutal Horse: One Year In
It’s been one year since we launched brutalhorse.com. Since then, we’ve been most sought on Google by bestiality connoisseurs, but we’ve also attracted a few, non-creepy readers. So for you, our non-creepy readers, we’d like to humbly submit a comprehensive update to our favorite articles over the past year.Full story.
McDungeons and Dragons Club, Mac!
Dungeons and Dragons, first published in 1974, is a table-top role-playing game loved by nerds and reviled by everyone else. When Neal first suggested getting a D&D game together, most of us balked, but he persisted. What has come of Neal’s semi-serious suggestion has been a monthly dinner party and D&D night, filled with inside jokes and delicious food.Full story.
State of the Phils
State of the Phils: Sixty Games In
With more than a third of the season in the bag, how do our fine Phillies fare? Don’t bother watching three hour long baseball games everyday, ask Brett and Justin.Full story.
Building a Better Veggie Burger
Store-bought and homemade veggie burgers are usually pretty disappointing on the grill. Ray takes inspiration from greasy, fatty, drippy hamburgers to develop a new veggie burger recipe, fit for the summer.Full story.
The Hobbit, Reviewed
All epic adventures must start somewhere: Spider-Man was bitten by a mutant spider and spurred to fight crime by his uncle’s untimely death, Superman came from another planet and was empowered by our Sun’s specific radiation frequencies, and Bilbo Baggins sat around and complained about dwarves getting mud on his carpet. Read on for Brett’s review of Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit, complete with handy viewer’s guide.Full story.
The Squared Circle
Kevin Steen: Descent Into Madness
In this review of Ring of Honor DVD, Kevin Steen: Descent into Madness, Brett breaks down the long feud between a fat guy and a guy who pretends not to understand Engilsh. How many chairs to the head will it take El Generico to learn how to say “concussion?”Full story.